"Stacey and I have danced around each others' lives for a couple of years now. From admiring from afar as a personal fan of her podcast, Finger Food, to Underlena sponsoring Season 2, getting Stacey on the Musing series has been a long time coming. I love how Stacey works a deep love of food, connection and sensuality into her work as a sex, love and relationship coach. Any conversation with Stacey is nourishing and inspiring - I hope you enjoy our chat." - Maxine
Musing on Sensuality is a series where we sit down with people who inspire sensuality, and talk about how they cultivate it in their life and work. We hope for this series to be a source of inspiration for readers to help cultivate their own daily sensuality.
Hi darling Stacey - for our readers, please introduce yourself - who are you, where are you based, and how do you spend your time?
Well, hello there! I’m Stacey O, currently based back in London for the next 6 months or so for work, life, adventure, and a larger dating pool, haha! I’m a Certified Sex and Relationship Coach, Podcast Host, and Culinary Artist. I merge my passions in my global independent podcast 'Finger Food,' cooking my guests their favourite dishes and engaging in vulnerable conversations around intimacy and relationships over a shared meal.
I specialise in somatic coaching, exploring the intricate connection between the mind and body to guide my clients towards deeper self-understanding and expression. I’m a cheerleader for those who dare to feel their feelings and open up about it. To me, vulnerability is strength and the ultimate pathway to deeper connections and more freedom within!
Stacey wears the Petit Nuage set by Du Ciel, shot by Georgia Taylor
As someone whose work is centred around sensuality, pleasure and connection, what does the word sensuality mean to you? What does it feel like?
The immediate word that comes to mind when I think about sensuality is slowness. It's slowing down just enough to bring awareness to the sensations in my body that exist in every moment. Sensuality, to me, is the feeling of my body submerged in a hot bath, Joni Mitchell playing and a smoky-scented candle gently lighting and permeating the space. It’s the first bite of warm focaccia drenched in olive oil and smothered in sea salt as it hits the tip of my tongue. It’s the feeling of a luscious, soft, long linen garment draping over my bod and swanning about in it. It’s the deep exhale I feel when I’m topless at a waterfall with my women, soaking in the sun's rays. I could go on here…
I'm with you on all of those. I think sensuality is experienced very differently as we get older - has your approach to it changed over time? How so?
Most definitely. I used to think of sensuality as something very out of reach, something that I would see in women in the streets rocking sexy outfits, looking hot, confident, and free. It wasn’t something that felt natural to me initially. Growing up in a Catholic household and going to all-girls schools where pleasure and self-expression did not feel celebrated, I felt like sensuality was taboo and wrong. When I started unpicking this conditioning, I felt very rebellious, like I had been repressed for so long, so I wanted to express the sensual part of myself to its fullest expression! Show the world I have been freed from the shackles, haha.
Now, I would say the pendulum swing from repressed teen to wild woman feels like it's meeting somewhere in the middle - like I’m appreciating the subtlety of my sensuality now - the small things. I feel less like it's the most important thing in the world and more that it is a beautiful part of me that exists with all the other parts of me. So yes, ever-evolving.
With that in mind, do you have any practices that you like to lean into to help cultivate sensuality?
What I love to do most is sit down over a delicious meal with someone I love, and describe the orgasmic flavours and sensations we are feeling and make some weird affirming sounds of the deliciousness. Honestly, this just happens naturally most times I eat a delish meal - it’s not like a pre-planned sensuality practice.
Also - getting into sexy knickers and dancing in my room. Not no.
Also - sandwiching busy hectic tasks in my life with little slow treats - e.g., Before I meet with a client or edit a podcast or style food for a shoot, I will do some breathwork or have a cuppa, then I will do my work and sandwich it with an intentional delicious meal, some stretching or hot shower.
I love the idea of a sensuality sandwich, and feels like such an accessible way of creating space for sensuality in your everyday life.
How do you find that your clients interact with sensuality - is it something that people find they can connect with easily? Do you have a hot tip for people wanting to connect with their sensuality on a daily basis?
Many of my clients find it challenging to connect with their sensuality, mostly due to societal conditioning that views both sensitivity and sexuality as weaknesses or something shameful. However, embracing our feelings and sensations is essential for cultivating sensuality. I believe true sensuality comes from within - it’s the freedom to express our most authentic selves. A simple daily practice that really helps me connect to my sensations is breathwork and movement. You can do ten minutes of intense breathwork (something like Wim Hof) or mild (something like box breathing) depending on your mood. Pop on a sexy slow tune and move for 5 minutes or so. Allow yourself to feel whatever arises - it might be numbness, ecstatic joy, or grief - welcome it all!
What is inspiring you at the moment?
I’m having a London foodie renaissance era - I’m feeling excited to cook with people, collaborate, make yummy things, eat yummy things, and share them with yummy humans. Also travel and meeting new people is jazzing me right up!
That's so fabulous and exciting. London has some history for you - what is next for you there?
Yes! So exciting being back here after 6 years. I lived here for 8 years in my twenties and owned a bakery here. It’s a trip being back - currently soaking in all the nostalgia, catching up with old friends, new friends, and exploring like a tourist again. I am here for some foodie work - styling my friend Rosie Kellett's cookbook, hopefully doing another season of the podcast, and doing my 1:1 client work, which I can do from anywhere in the world! Feeling very blessed and excited for all the travel, adventure and mystery this year is going to bring!
Divine, please send pics 💋 Finally, if people are interested in working with you, how can they get in touch?
If you want to work with me 1:1 - you can visit my website: www.staceyogorman.com or fill out my application form here - we can book in a consultation and go from there! If you’re in Europe this year and want to collaborate on any projects or podcasty things - get in touch!
Images by Summer Knight [1] and Georgia Taylor [2-4]
Shop The Great Eros and Du Ciel